Updated: Jul 25
Being in a toxic relationship depletes your energy. Especially one that continuously gets you sucked back into the cycle of abuse. Once you think you are strong enough to get out of the narcissist’s grip, sadly they manipulate you with something you care for to get you to trust them again.
If you are reading this article, you probably have some awareness of what this narcissistic person is doing to you, and that they are tampering with your sanity.
I’m here to tell you it is possible to replenish, revive, and become strong enough to get away from this narcissist for good. There are a few things you may want to consider doing while contemplating leaving this person or at least creating some space between you and the narcissist.
1. Physically separate yourself from the narcissist in your life for a period of time. I don’t care if it’s for one day or one week (one week is better) but get away from them so you can give yourself the opportunity to see the situation clearly and begin coming out of denial. Book a weekend trip at a local hotel, stay at your most trusted friend’s house for a few days, go on a camping trip in nature, book an Air bnb in the next city over that you can make a quick drive to. If you have kids, you can take them with you!
2. Start going to therapy. Book a session with a therapist who specializes in helping victims of narcissistic abuse, specifically. Your therapist will help you gain more clarity around your situation, come up with a plan for you to take care of yourself while you are going through this, and give you a safe space for you to process the very difficult position of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
3. Try not to tell any mutual friends you are considering leaving the narcissist if you think they might report back to the narcissist. Be careful who you tell when making your plan to once and for all get out of this relationship. Flying monkeys, or people the narcissist use to get information or manipulate you, can make your life miserable if they know what’s going on. If flying monkeys get involved you will feel even more drained while planning your escape.
4. Use self soothing techniques to calm your anxiety. So many victims of narcissistic abuse I work with suffer from extreme anxiety when they try to separate from their abuser. Some techniques you can use to calm your nervous system are to:
· Apply lavender oil to your hands and skin
· Put ice cubes on your skin if you feel like you are about to have a panic attack. This will help you get back into the present moment.
· Practice meditation to help reduce rumination and decrease activity in the amygdala section of the brain (the part of the brain that will make you feel anxious)
· Watch your favorite movie to distract yourself before you go to bed
· Exercise, sauna, cryotherapy, hot tub
I hope some of these tips help you feel less drained by the narcissist in your life. Do not hesitate to book a call or reach out if you have any questions.