Updated: Nov 2
Forgiving someone who has bullied you and emotionally/psychologically abused you is NOT EASY. It can take a while, sometimes even years, to even process what you have been though without even considering forgiving this person.
Going LOW CONTACT or NO CONTACT is the best way to create space between you and the narcissist and focus on your healing. Once you have taken steps towards your recovery and started to experience healing, you may consider forgiving the narcissist.
Please note. If you are not ready to forgive or move on… DO NOT RUSH YOURSELF. You have a right to go through the 5 stages of grief which includes STRONG FEELINGS OF ANGER! This article is not being written with the intention of telling you that you HAVE to forgive this person…because you do not. But I have found in my journey that forgiveness, although NOT EASY AT ALL, has helped me find a deeper sense of peace within.
Let’s get clear on something, when I say FORGIVE the narcissist, I am not saying let them back into your life OR forgetting what they have done to you. When I say forgive the narcissist, I mean making peace with YOURSELF (not them) and letting go of the pain of what they did to you so you can put it behind you and move forward with YOUR life.
A few things you can do to make peace with yourself.
When you think of this person remember how severely sick they are. They have a severe mental illness. This is NOT an excuse for what they did, but thinking to yourself, “Wow this person is so sick they did these things…that is actually quite sad.” Might help a little. Maybe even being grateful that you are not like them at all, but you are more empathetic, kind, compassionate, and loving, may help.
Pray that you can let this go and find peace in your own life. Forgiveness is something you do for YOU not for the other person.
You can journal about why moving forward is important to you and your healing process.
You can write a letter to the narcissist saying things you could never actually verbalize to them (I would not recommend actually sending the letter) then burn it to release it.
Pair this forgive essential oil with the intention of forgiveness to help you release this baggage.
When you get angry with the narcissist in your head again, remind yourself you are letting go of this anger, and moving on. (You might have to do this 1,000,000 times but it WILL STICK eventually).
If you are wanting to forgive the narcissist in your life so you can have MORE PEACE but need help with this process, please reach out. I am a licensed professional with expertise in helping individuals move on after narcissistic abuse and can help you heal and forgive.